We're Pregnant! Ahh!

Literally: Ahhh!

Please don't think that I don't care about you deeply if this is the first you're hearing about the news. I can imagine that it hurts to think you're not worth a phone-call or in-person visit... I hope you'll understand that this is SUCH difficult news for me to share: I can't help but think that this situation detracts from all the things that I've accomplished in the last few years. If I can be honest here, my biggest fear is that my closest friends will no longer see me as someone who can conquer the world because I'm now on the mommy-path OR that I can no longer be an example of what a good person is because I chose to have sex before I was married. Perhaps it is an unrealistic fear but it encompasses my thoughts every single day. In a perfect world the words would come super easily and would be followed with excited months of planning. Though I'm getting more excited by the day, I'm not as excited as I probably could be and am so soo sorry that this is the way many of you may have had to find out (or, if you've heard from others, how you will find out the details).

So... the answers to all the main questions:

1. We're due in August (around the 16th-ish). I know. It's April. We found out in March. I know again... I can do the math, and no, I'm not that much of a blonde. :o) I had been completely normal (read: regular, healthy and pregnancy-symptom-free) until February. Sooo I thought, surely there must be something seriously wrong, it can't be what I think it is. I waited until March to make doubly sure (more in fear of walking into the doctor's office and having them tell me I've just missed a month and to stop being a hypocondriac...) and when the test came back that I was pregnant, I laughed at the doctor and told him (essentially) that he must be lying. I'm 24, I know how this sort of stuff works, and I would have had to conceive at the end of November (some 4 months prior)! He chuckled back and said, basically, ya did. Insert "what??" face here and other choice-thoughts. Since then it has been a whirlwind of calling parents, families (seeing parents and families) and essentially coming up with some sort of game plan that might allow us to make sense of this quickly arriving blessing. To say the least it has been an emotional, crazy, but overall truly love-filled experience.

2. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl... yet. Yes, we will find out, but finding doctors in VA/NC that take medicaid (really, GETTING medicaid) has proven supremely difficult. We are making serious progress, making sure all I's are dotted, T's are crossed, and should have a doctors appointment VERY SOON. Because I don't have health insurance (boo), I found out I was pregnant at a local health center, and need to have medicaid coverage to see a certifieid OB/GYN without paying hundreds of dollars that I just don't have. So... we wait. I promise as soon as I find out information regarding gender/doctors visits/ultrasounds I'll let everyone know. :o)

3. Korey and I will both finish our degrees at the schools we are at now. Korey is planning on finishing in December, and I'll finish sometime next year. We'll be living in two states for a bit whilst having an infant, but with the help of our uber supportive families and friends in each place we'll make it work. Korey plans to move to VA once he graduates to be closer to us, and then we'll plan from there once I finish my master's (which I'm more than halfway finished with -- yippee!)

4. We are not married and will not be getting married before the baby is born. I can only handle one totally life-altering event in so many months. I love Korey a TON and am really excited that my kid will have an amazing Dad who will love him/her very very much and I could not ask for a better partner in this. If a wedding is in our future, it will be with plenty of time for the youngster to walk down the aisle with us. I think that there are several people in our lives that would have perhaps liked the order to be reversed, but I think we both agree that baby is number one priority, and then we'll figure other things out as they come. The baby will, however, have Korey's last name.

5. My parents are excited... worried about logistics (and sometimes the sanity of their oldest daughter, I think...lol), but definietly excited. My mom sends me messages often to check in, and has been knitting up a storm, ready to welcome her grandson or daughter into the family. Korey's parents (I think?) are the same. Both sets of our parents have been unbelievably supportive throughout the last month (to both of us), which has been simply amazing. I have no words for how important it is to me to make sure that my child has both sets of grandparents in his or her life, and the amount of support (and help) from our families has been overwhelming.

6. I am healthy/experiencing very few pregnancy symptoms and I am indeed showing. In fact, one of the girls on my team asked me one Saturday if I was expecting (I had found out two days before!) because of the tiny baby bump that had started to show the week or so before. (LOVE YOU BROOKE!!) I've gained a bit of weight, but not as much as I had expected. But I do certainly look like there's a tiny tot growing in there. I didn't have any morning sickness (there were a few days earlier in the spring semester where I thought I had a stomach virus that my boss nicely pointed out was probably NOT a virus...), I've had one experience of heartburn, and I have been able to work out without any sort of complication physically. I played volleyball in an adult league for the entire first trimester without even knowing... when I asked the doctor at the health center, he told me that because VB was something that I had been doing (essentially) since I was a kid, I could continue to do it until my body told me otherwise.

7. I haven't had any real cravings, except that I am thirsty ALL OF THE TIME. There are times in the day when I have to stop in the middle of whatever I'm doing and just drink tons and tons of water. Giving up caffeine has probably been the hardest thing I've encountered since finding out -- no more Starbucks for a long time. Ay!

8. I am taking pre-natal vitamins, eating better (thanks to the panel of food-critics that have begun assessing my every move... love you guys!) and have begun reading the multitude of books and magazines that people have shared with me. I only had to start with month 5, so it's a bit lighter of reading. :o) Many thanks go out to Korey's sister Shannon for sending me a HUGE care package of mommy-to-be-needs. Books from the boss were also super helpful as well and I'm becoming more and more educated about what's going on inside me.

9. I HAVE felt the baby move. Though, it feels a little like a muscle twitch/food digestion (though in the wrong place for it to be food digestion), and not so distinctive as a karate kick or something. I doubt anyone could feel it on the outside, but it's an interesting feeling. :o)

10. My plans for the summer are to: find a place to live, get ready for baby, visit as much as I can before I can't travel quite so easily, take a few summer classes to get ahead and prepare for the fall VB season @ AU. I am super lucky to have a supporitve boss and a great support network of people helping me find places to live/give advice about doctors/offer to watch baby while in season, etc -- planning for the fall is coming together.



Okay, so I know this is big news to share via the world-wide-web, and I apologize that I couldn't tell all of you in person with a big cheery smile and all the answers to every question you might have. Please understand and know that I love you all SO MUCH, even though I couldn't tell everyone in person. Not only is it kinda difficult news for me to share, being 800 miles from the ones you love makes it even more difficult to figure out the best way to share it. The semester has provided me almost zero time to do much of anything besides stuff in VA, so... this will have to do. I love you ALL so so much, and am really REALLY sorry that an online blog might be the quickest way for me to let you all in on all the nitty gritty details. Have I mentioned that I love you all? Seriously...?

PS -- I am super appreciative of all of you who sent me messages asking me for what was true/false instead of simply passing on the news. Thanks guys. :o)